Monday, July 7, 2014

My Eyes...



 My eyes are hazel,depending on the light they look greenish.

 I've been told by many that the color of my eyes is very pretty, but I never believed them. For the longest time, when I saw my reflection in the mirror I would think to myself, "Pathetic, my face is a waste." I would cover the right side of my face and think again to myself, " Why, can't I look fully like this; this is a beautiful face" I never thought I was beautiful, because in my shattered mind I did not fit the mold of what was considered beautiful. It took years and being well into my twenties for me to realize just how beautiful I truly am.

My eyes are hazel, depending on the light they look greenish. My eyes are beautiful. My face is beautiful. I am beautiful.

It is completely and utterly disgusting how we allow society dictate what beauty is. Social media have become an enemy that is slowly destroying the lives of thousands of young girls and boys.We are told what beauty is and are held up to the standards of celebrities, models, athletes, and so on. We are told how to get their bodies, skin care, clothes, products, etc, because they are beautiful We most jump onto the bandwagon of beauty.

Unfortunately, we tend to forget that celebrities, models, and athletes, most live up to the standards of beauty day-in and day-out. They go to extreme measures to make sure they stay a fraction a head of the rest. They have drastic plastic surgeries, spend endless hours in the gym, and cake on make-up in order to fall into the definition of beauty that social media have constructed.

I recently posted a question on my wall on Facebook. I asked my friends to define beauty in their own words. These are the responses I received.

CR: " Beauty is to look at the world and being able to define it in your heart...then share what you saw with your fellow humans with artistic hands..."

MR "Belleza es lo que le inspira una sonrisa a Dios"   ( Beauty is what inspires God to smile)

MS: "Para mi belleza es un compendio de cosas, que hacen agradable a la vista, al olfato y a los oidos , al tacto, al sentir , al oler,,termino,que ea ,es pureza,, es virtud,, es honestidad ,,,y es un.concepto de varios matices, depende para quien , cuando , y estado de animos,,,,,,, bello el amor, bella la lluvia , bella la cancion , y tu primita ,,, toda bella"

 (For me beauty is a compound of many things that are pleasant to the sight, the smell, the hearing,the touch, and the feeling. It is purity, it is a virtue, it i honesty. It is a concept with many hues. Depending on the eyes of the beholder. Love is beautiful, rain is beautiful, a song is beautiful, and you my little cousin are all beauty. )

To strangers, the people that see me for a fraction of a second, to them  I am not beautiful. I understand why and it is because I have a unique face. I have an eye that to many comes from an amazing horror movie, but it is not make up, it is my real  eye. My right eye is a prosthetic and although is beautiful it does look fake because I have very little muscle movement. I also have a fairly big fibroma right next to my beautiful fake eye. To top it off, the right side of my skull comes out a little too far and I have scars. So no, to strangers I am not beautiful.

People don't look at me, they gawk. These people make funny faces, point, and sometimes make rude comments under their breaths. Sometimes I take it like a champ and do not even bother to let it hurt me. But other times, it hurts, it really truly hurts. It is as if a dagger is penetrating my heart in slow motion. I feel winded and a huge knot forms in my throat. I hate it.  People that see me out on the street have no idea why I look the way I do or why despite it all when they see me I smile and wave to those that gawk. I cannot allow one insignificant ignorant person ruin my day.

Fortunately, I am beautiful to those that do matter; to my family and friends I am beautiful both inside and out.



I recommend reading, " Beauty Through the Ages" by  Dr. LaNae  Valentine. This article demonstrates how beauty is ever changing and how ridiculous and stupid the human race can be. 
 Recapturing Beauty