Friday, November 10, 2017

Donate to my Cupid's Undie Run page!



So I am asking for donations for my Cupid's Undie Run page. Every little bit helps! I assure you that every dollar raised goes towards research to find a cure for Neurofibromatosis. 

In advance I thank you! 💖 

 



Donate to my Cupid's Undie Run page!: Make a donation toward Angela Velasquez's fundraising effort in support of Cupid's Undie Run.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Updates.... Life Happens!

So lots of things have happened since I last published.

 I had another surgery, this time it was minor. In fact I had it in my surgeons office. I am wearing the eye patch again..but I will survive. My surgeon wants to take it slow, he wants to see my progress before he works on me which makes me feel very comfortable. So I may have one or two more surgeries on my eye.

I also got published!!! Yep, you  read it correct! I got published not on one,but two sites! The children's Tumor foundation contacted me in mid August and asked me to write a piece for their blog, they also informed me that sometimes The Mighty picks it up and also publishes on their site. I was very honored to write for CTF and could not have been happier when I received confirmation that both CTF and The Might would be publishing my post!

And to complete my updates for 2017... I was interviewed by Chris from Special Books by Special Kids!! I am on cloud 9! Check out my video and all the other amazing interviews that Chris conducts daily. Enjoy!! Special Books by Special Kids


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Post Surgery

It has been a little over a month since I had my surgery and I have not stopped smiling. I know that for some the change is minor or not apparent, but for me, it has made a big difference. I am overjoyed with the results.

The most challenging aspect of all this was not the itchy stitches or the nagging pain but the fact that I was forced to wear an eye patch for five weeks. I was reluctant to leave my house or to go anywhere else other than my job. Thankfully, I have people in my life that will not allow me to become a hermit crab. Despite my apprehension and the uneasiness, I  felt with my eye patch, my friend Chantal took me out one night after work. She encouraged me to do so because she was not going to allow some eye patch stop me from being the vibrant person that I usually am.

She alongside many amazing co-works made me feel the most comfortable I have ever felt while wearing an eye patch. I cannot put into words how thankful I am to work alongside individuals that genuinely care about me and my well being. Now that I think about it, it was very silly of me to have been so nervous my first day back to work after surgery. The first thing my manager did after stopping an entire meeting because I walked into the room, was to tell me that I had reports due! To some people that may have been off-putting, but to me that was the best thing she could have done because it made me realize that the eye patch had not changed anything about me. I was still me; I just happen to be wearing an accessory that was covering my right eye!

I  dedicate this post to my CCTB family. Thank you, guys.


Saturday, July 29, 2017

Surgery

In August of 2015, I blogged about the possibility of having my 18th surgery, but I decided to postpone it because the timing was not right. Thankfully, I was able to wait without any repercussions. But now, surgery 18 is happening, and I could not be more nervous and scared. I will have my eighteenth operation on Wednesday,  August 30th.
After over ten years I will be going under the knife once more, this time I will have fibromas removed from my back that I find to be too big and bothersome.  The surgeon will also attempt to correct a botched surgery that I had in my right eye from when I was a teenager.  The surgeon wants to not only fix the damage done by a previous surgeon but also make my right eye more ethically pleasing. 
I am finding myself more nervous about having to wear an eye patch for four to six weeks than the surgery itself. I do not like the idea of having this big black circular thing on my tiny face. I get anxious just thinking about it. I feel like the walls are closing in on me and I have no escape. When the surgeon told me about his plan and how I would not be able to use my prosthetic because I needed time to heal I almost told him to forget about it. That is how much I dislike the idea of wearing an eyepatch. 
I 've tried using an eye patch before, and that did not go very well. The last time I wore my eye patch this guy tried taking it off! I've written blog posts about my apprehension of using it and have weighed in pros and cons, as it turns out I rather people look at my face and gawk at my eye than having people guess what I am hiding under it.
"The Patch" describes my first experience of wearing an eye patch out in public. I now realize I did it so that I could please family that kept insisting I try it. My second eye patch post details my dislike towards them and how some family members have always wanted me to wear them.

So now it looks like I have no other choice but to use the one accessory in my closet that I despise. I'll have to use it for about a month...unless I decide to become a hermit crab and never leave my house.


Saturday, July 8, 2017

NF and 'Anorexia'

" I love my body," I've said never, but I don't hate my body either. I do however like my body and one day I know I will love it. The truth is after years of harsh bullying and body shaming I am just now coming to and appreciating my petite figure and curves. I was bullied for being "too thin" and was accused of being anorexic multiple times.
Growing up I was made to feel ashamed for being thin and petite. I really disliked and hated my small frame. I was ridiculed for not having a voluptuous body, for being flat-chested and for not meeting beauty standards. I went through a phase in which I seriously considered having breast augmentation in order to fit the mold just a little bit.
The taunting became so bad that I  started internalizing the comments and actually began to believe that there was something seriously wrong with me. As a teenager, I would stand in front of the mirror naked and point out every wrong and ugly part of my body. I would tell myself, " So not only do you have NF but you also have no boobs or ass. What guy would ever find you attractive?"  I essentially was bullying myself.
The saddest part of this story is that growing up I also heard from my family and friends that I did have a beautiful body, that my small petite frame was proportionate and perfect, but that did not matter because the voices of my bullies were louder. And so that was my reality until I stopped liking the reality that I had created and started reevaluating everything. Little by little I started to like my body and learned how to appreciate my small frame. Now, at 30 more than ever, I am thankful I did not have a boob job or any other unnecessary surgery. What also helped me through this process is that the two boyfriends I've had never failed to tell me that they found every inch of me sexy. I do not want to give them all the credit, but being told that you are beautiful (and sexy) from someone other than your brothers does help.  It took me a very long time to consider myself sexy because I was told by so many that I was anything but sexy.
So, I do not love my body but I do like it. I appreciate my small frame and curves. I am healthy and NOT  anorexic. People still do comment about my thinness but it no longer bothers me because I ignore the comments even if they are meant as compliments. 


Sunday, July 2, 2017

Brave at 30

Happy 30th birthday to me!!!


Yep, I am 30! I never thought I would reach my 30s and be as happy as I am right now, but truth be told I would not have it any other way. You see, when I was 15, I told myself that by the time I was 30 I would be a published author, happily married with at least two kids and traveling the world. Well, reality check, I am happily single but open to finding love, I may not be a published author but I blog and share my story with anyone that wants to read it. And I do have two fur-children. So, I am not doing too bad. In fact, I am doing better than expected.

I am just now realizing just how brave I actually am, I mean my family and friends have been telling me all my life but I never really thought about it until recently. I do not know why I am just now realizing it and I am not about to question it because that is not important. What is important is that by me recognizing this I am now giving myself more challenges and opportunities to make mistakes. I've always been afraid to make mistakes because I didn't want others to say, " Oh she has NF, that is why she failed." I know, sad, but by having that mentality I was only failing myself.  So no more, I am leaving that thought process behind, and telling myself every day just how brave, smart, funny, and beautiful I am!

And by the way, you too are brave!!


Thursday, June 1, 2017

Working Girl

As I have shared multiple times in my stories; I was not supposed to speak two languages, I was not supposed to 'learn' in a traditional classroom, let alone go to college, I was not intended to do many things.But, as all of you know, I do not like being told what I can and cannot do.
I welcome a challenge.
So when a Supervisory position opened up at my job I instantly jumped at the opportunity. I knew that the job would be demanding and that I would be tested every day but that didn't scare me. What did scare me, however, was not applying because that I would regret it forever.
With the encouragement of loved ones, I applied for the position of Supervisor of Gateway for the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay. I had my interview on March 24th, what followed were three weeks of anxiousness. I knew that there had been other internal candidates and I was told that they may also consider external applicants. I was freaking out!! I became more nervous as my April vacation neared.I was going to be unreachable for seven days, and I did not want to walk into the office on my return with a surprise be it good or not. 
So when the then manager of the program approached me and told me that he wanted to speak to me by the end of the day on April 5th, I became even more nervous. I went into his office, but he said that since it was a nice day we should go for a walk around the building. I took a deep long breath and followed him outside. 
In that 30 minute conversation, my former manager offered me the position of Supervisor for Gateway! I accepted it right away, of course!
Not bad for someone that was once told that she would not be able to do much in life! 

I would now like to take some time to tell all those that never believed in me, a little message.....but I am almost sure they do not read my blog. But just in case they happen to stumble across it and decide to read it....