What's Up with the Hair?

 I miss my long brown hair. I can't wait to have it down to my waist again. The concept of short hair is foreign to me, and the only reason I have short hair right now is purely medical. I would never in a million years have a pixie cut by choice. But my body decided that it was going to misbehave and thus resulted not one but two unplanned surgeries.

I like my long hair not only because I have gorgeous hair, yes that is a conceited statement, but more importantly, because it has been my security blanket for 31 years. And now I am completely exposed to the world, and I do not like it. I used to be able to cover the right side of my face and not be seen, and now, I have nothing! I am forced to go out into the world without my protective shield.
Ironically, everyone and I mean everyone loves my short hair! This I do not understand! Nor do I want to because the pixie is not staying.
Yes, I feel more comfortable and confident than ever before, but that does not change that fact that I feel the most secure when I have long hair. That will never change.
So thank you all for the compliments. I  appreciate it and trust me, your kind words do help, but you will not change my mind.

Face

Not too long ago I told someone that I was still getting used to my new face, he looked at me and said,” your face looks the same.” I looked back at him and just stared. I didn’t understand how he did not see that I had a new face, I  got irritated at him because he was unable to see how different I looked. I was annoyed that he failed to see how my surgeries had improved my face. How is he unable to see the same reflect that I see each time I look in the mirror? A more symmetrical and beautiful face. A face that I like a lot more.

I then heard that tiny voice in my head say, “ To him, your face has always been beautiful.”
He shared that he really wished I was able to see just how remarkable I am. He held my hands looked into my eyes and  said," You are beautiful, intelligent and the strongest person I know."  I looked away into the distance, he pulled my face towards his and repeated it. 

In the eyes of many, my face has not changed, or if it has, it is minor. However, for me, it is day and night.  I no longer have the large fibroma on my right temple, nor do I have the protruding plate on the side of my head. My eyes also appear to be more leveled than before.  I now find myself enjoying makeup a lot more because I do not have to hide scars or a fibroma.

I know that to many of my friends and family the changes in my face are minimal, but to me they are significant. Between August of 2017 and March of 2018, I had four surgeries that in my opinion vastly improved the appearance of my face. I feel like my disfigurement has been reduced; to me, I have a new face. And like my friend Izzy said to me not long ago, I live with this face so I will notice the changes more than anyone else.

Even though I have a scar running down my forehead, like Harry Potter as an acquaintance has described it; I have never felt more confident with my face than I do now.