One Year since 20th Surgery!

January 2018

The other day I was flipping through pictures on my phone and was utterly stunned at how much my face has improved. It has been one year since I had major surgery, and even though it will take another six months to see the final results my smile only keeps getting brighter and brighter.

A year later and I am still in awe in how much my face continues to improve, not only that, but I also feel so much more confident than I did before.  I know this sounds redundant and repetitive, but you must understand the effect that this particular surgery had on my life. I cannot find words to adequately describe to you how much more beautiful I feel today than I did a year ago. 

Yes, by my mid-twenties I had accepted my body and NF and fully believed I was beautiful. However, I still had days in which I disliked my entire being and did everything in my power to cover my face.  So, had I truly accepted myself if I consistently used my hair as a shield?

Additionally, I would honestly like to know, how many people "have to accept themselves," is this something that everyone goes through? Or is this something that only those, like myself, that are "different" have to go through?

Due to this surgery, I was forced to face my internal demons of discomfort and self-hate.  My protective shield was yanked from me, and I still do not have it, and I miss it! I was left with a less noticeable disfigurement, but now I have a scar running down my forehead.

December 2018

So, if there is something I have learned in my lifetime is that I am not going to be broken! Yes, NF is going to forever be part of my life, but I am sure not going to let it take over. I already gave it control as a kid and teenager, and now that I have power, I am not giving it back to this relentless condition that taunts me every day. 

Each day I wake up and see my reflection and smile because I know that behind each scar there is a battle story, so keep em coming, because I will win each and every time! 

Warpping Up 2018

So I want to start my first post of 2019 by saying that I had initially planned on posting the following before 2018 came to a close, but... I didn't, so now you get to read it in 2019!


Written in 2018

What can I say about 2018? Well, it certainly has not been a boring year! I started the year with two open wounds on my right temple that led to, an emergency surgery on January 17th. While still recovering from that surgery, I had yet another unplanned surgery in March, to shave further down the titanium that protects my brain.
Between those two surgeries, I had a fabulous time in Cupids 2018!! My team was amazingly awesome. This year, I also had the pleasure of learning to love my shaved head. Due to the January surgery, I had to cut off all of my hair, something that was not easy for me to do because my hair is my shield, but at least it is growing back!
This year I closed one career path and began another. In December I started a new job, and even though I am brand new, I know this job too will be a great experience.
Finally, one aspect of 2018, that I have not shared is my trip to Colombia. After I resigned as supervisor of Gateway services, I decided to take a much-needed vacation, so I visited family in Barranquilla and Bogota. The month and six days that I spent in Colombia refueled me and gave me the strength I needed because even though I started 2018 full of vitality and positivity, by September I was drained and exhausted.
While in Colombia, I was given the marvelous opportunity to share my story of perseverance to a group of individuals that are as equally strong as I am. These individuals are all going through their own struggles and are paving their own path of perseverance. The two mini-conferences I did in Bogota, only proved to me that sharing my story is my life mission.  I want to continue doing conferences because I know that just like my writing, I am helping people from all walks of life.
So, all-in-all, 2018 has been a great year!  After all, I became an aunt, and at this point, nothing can top that off! This year certainly had its ups and its downs, but I would not change any aspect of it because I would not be going into 2019 with the strength and energy that I am if it were not for the good and especially the not so good moments.

TO BE CONTINUED IN 2019