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| January 2018 |
The other day I was flipping through pictures on my phone and was utterly stunned at how much my face has improved. It has been one year since I had major surgery, and even though it will take another six months to see the final results my smile only keeps getting brighter and brighter.
A year later and I am still in awe in how much my face continues to improve, not only that, but I also feel so much more confident than I did before. I know this sounds redundant and repetitive, but you must understand the effect that this particular surgery had on my life. I cannot find words to adequately describe to you how much more beautiful I feel today than I did a year ago.
Yes, by my mid-twenties I had accepted my body and NF and fully believed I was beautiful. However, I still had days in which I disliked my entire being and did everything in my power to cover my face. So, had I truly accepted myself if I consistently used my hair as a shield?
Additionally, I would honestly like to know, how many people "have to accept themselves," is this something that everyone goes through? Or is this something that only those, like myself, that are "different" have to go through?
Due to this surgery, I was forced to face my internal demons of discomfort and self-hate. My protective shield was yanked from me, and I still do not have it, and I miss it! I was left with a less noticeable disfigurement, but now I have a scar running down my forehead.
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| December 2018 |
So, if there is something I have learned in my lifetime is that I am not going to be broken! Yes, NF is going to forever be part of my life, but I am sure not going to let it take over. I already gave it control as a kid and teenager, and now that I have power, I am not giving it back to this relentless condition that taunts me every day.
Each day I wake up and see my reflection and smile because I know that behind each scar there is a battle story, so keep em coming, because I will win each and every time!
Hi Angela. My Name is Jason. I came across you on SBSK's. I couldnt help but reach out to you. I want you to know first of all you are a beautiful woman. You told your story of the a closer look at angela note. You should know that the picture in that note was a picture of the hearts of those who drew the picture. You know how aweful people are. And those people are not worth the effect they have on you. Your prettier than they will ever be. Your personality shines. Something you have that most will never have is a complete beauty. On the inside and out. I hope you know people out here think you are worth it and your face is not an issue. It's hard enough to meet new people, and I know you might blame it on your appearance. But, your appearance is not a issue. I hope your well and mentally happy.
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