Healing from 23rd Surgery (Updates)

 I am two months post-surgery, and the healing is ongoing. I am not going to lie; recovery has not been easy. It's not about the pain, the itchy scars, or the swelling. It's the fact that I am not 100% yet according to my standards and my timestamp. In my opinion, I should have already crossed the finish line. Instead, I am on mile marker seven on a ten-mile race. 

Dr. Patel informed me that I should anticipate recovery to be six to eight weeks, and here I am, two months in and still waiting to hear those magical words from him, " Everything is healed, call me if you need anything." What I consider setbacks, he anticipated. As he has explained, the skin flap is heavy, and due to past surgeries, it will take my body longer to heal. Parts of the skin flap have continued to open, exposing the titanium mesh. I now need to allow my body to work its magic. The wounds will close on their own. 

There has been progress, but I have at least two areas of concern. During my last appointment on Monday, March 14, Dr. Patel said that if the wounds do not heal within a month, he would need to put me under general anesthesia and stitch me up again; this I vehemently do not want. 

I am desperate to return to my 

Photo was taken 1-16-2022

life placed on pause due to recovery. I want to go out and enjoy the sunshine. Feel the sand under my toes and smell a mixture of sunblock and ocean. I want to cook. I want to wear heels and wedges and do my make-up. As crazy as it sounds, I want to clean! Pick up the broom and sweep! On that note, I got reprimanded by my mother and family friend, a physical therapist, for sweeping. To my defense, that day, I felt fantastic and strong and capable of sweeping the perimeter of my kitchen. However, I will admit that I knew I should not have been cleaning, but I am a rebel ( sorry, not sorry (input evil laugh)). 

I know that I need to be more appreciative and loving with myself and my body. After all, undergoing 23 operations is not an easy feat. My incredible body has never betrayed me, so why should I lose faith now? I cannot. I will not.